So several women that I respect posted this image on facebook a while ago. I have to admit, younger Jamie used to be quite hung up on the concept of a “friend zone” and the somewhat related issue of girls seemingly not being interested in “nice guys.”
After a while, though, I realized that I wasn’t really a nice person, so perhaps I should work on that before I concerned myself too much with how nice guys were treated.
But more to the point, niceness, friendship etc. is all something of an excuse that’s used by both genders (but more frequently by guys, I think) as a crutch to be upset that someone’s not attracted to you. To be blunt, physical attraction plays a huge role, and you’re lying to yourself if you think that’s not the case, on both ends.* If you’ve spent a lot of time with someone, you feel like you click interpersonally, and they’re still not showing signs of attraction, then that’s probably it. There’s no need to complain about how nice guys finish last or bemoan being stuck in the friend zone-just take it for what it’s worth as a biological reality induced by millions of years of evolution and move on.**
*There are some people who insist to me that physical attractiveness isn’t that important to them in a relationship. I’m not sure that I believe those people, but I guess they deserve to be duly noted here.
**I am speaking to myself here as much as to anyone else.